Monthly Archives: October 2014

Food addiction

Food addiction is so real and I never knew how much it played into my life until right this very second. I am craving anything sweet: ice cream, chocolate, something, anything because I know that I don’t need it. I know that with most things it’s moderation but with the craving that I have right now I could go through a huge bag of m&ms and make myself feel sorry for it later. Not only that, I ate square meals today, I went to the gym out of my ordinary schedule since my work schedule is flexible, I tried to change it up but no matter how much I have eaten, I still feel hungry or I am craving something so badly that I wrestle with myself if I should risk it. Literally to the point of rocking and almost putting my shoes on to go get whatever it is.

I also see something else: anger. I am mad at myself for not being able to control these cravings, these urges that almost feel bigger than myself. It’s frustrating and this is what has me stop my cleaner eating habits because I don’t like this feeling of not getting what I want. Not enjoying all of the things that I do in the way that I like to enjoy them. I have to be extra cognizant of the food, how much, how late, calories, weights,  etc, it’s fucking exhausting!

I don’t know if anyone else endures this but I can tell you something…The struggle is real!